They are the most important people at the wedding ceremony alongside the couple: the best man and maid of honor. But what tasks fall to the witnesses of the marriage bond? What is important to keep in mind? When planning a wedding, many questions arise around this topic. We show you what the duties of best man and maid of honor are and what you should definitely pay attention to as a best man or maid of honor.
A brief look into the tradition of best man and maid of honor and the legal circumstances
Until modern times, it was the duty of the best man and maid of honor to witness the marriage bond. This necessity arose from the often non-existent system of documentation. In the Middle Ages, there was no way to record the wedding in writing in a form that would have remained reliable even in turbulent times or over great distances. It was similar in times of war. Therefore, the custom developed that two people participated in the ceremony and could witness the marriage.
Since summer 1998, the presence of witnesses is no longer required for a marriage in Germany. An exception is the Catholic Church, where this tradition continues to be observed. Of course, this does not establish any legal obligation. Nevertheless, even today two people must be present at a Catholic wedding and witness the lawful marriage. Important for weddings in Switzerland: Here, the civil registry office still requires two witnesses to be named.
Who can actually become a best man or maid of honor?
Also interesting: Not everyone can be a best man or maid of honor in Germany. The requirement is a minimum age of 18 years. Both at the civil registry office and in the church, the witnesses must carry a valid photo ID, which they must present upon request. If, for example, they are unable to follow the wedding due to language limitations, an interpreter must be available. For church weddings, it is advisable to speak with the responsible clergy beforehand to see if any requirements are placed on the witnesses, such as a specific denomination. While it is no longer strictly required that the witnesses have the same denomination as the couple, this is handled differently from parish to parish and should therefore be clarified in advance. Plan this important conversation, so you don't experience an unpleasant surprise at an inconvenient time!
The duties of best man and maid of honor
Actually, there is only one fixed task that must be fulfilled: The best man and maid of honor must witness the marriage. This is done by being present at the wedding and then signing the appropriate document at the registry office. If you wish, you can assign your witnesses only this one obligation. In this case, the couple would plan the wedding themselves.
Best man and maid of honor as wedding planners
The other option is to involve the witnesses in wedding planning and managing the flow on the wedding day. Often, trusted best man and maid of honor take on this task instead of a wedding planner and keep all the threads in hand both during wedding preparation and throughout the big day. Since the type and scope of responsibilities can vary greatly depending on the size and effort of the celebration, and the time availability of all those involved must also be considered, the couple should have already set the key details of the wedding celebration before coordinating the division of tasks in wedding planning.
Typical duties of the maid of honor
In particular, the maid of honor – often the bride's sister or best friend – can expect extensive tasks in wedding planning. The most beautiful and important tasks are selecting the wedding dress, the wedding rings and bridal jewelry together with the bride. Flipping through magazines together, browsing through shops and searching online for inspiration is simply more fun together! Even at this point, the maid of honor can create a wonderful atmosphere. She knows the bride best and knows what she likes. Use this and design the search for the right dress and perfect rings accordingly! Go to the shops and try on dresses and rings. Or gather information about fabrics, style directions or diamonds, gemstones and possible materials for the rings and bridal jewelry.
Many tasks arise during wedding preparation where you will need the support of the witnesses. Ask friends, the couple's family and acquaintances for help if wedding planning becomes overwhelming! Planning a wedding and ensuring a perfect flow requires many helpers. The couple must also be involved repeatedly. After all, it is important to keep the couple's wishes in mind.
Typical duties of the best man
Typically, the best man plans the bachelor party and the maid of honor takes on the planning of the bridal party (bachelorette party). To avoid any unpleasant surprises or even tears, the couple should be the focus. Don't make the mistake of thinking about yourselves, but keep an eye on what the couple enjoys and what they don't like. Definitely respect any wishes expressed beforehand. Not everyone likes to be the center of attention in the city or enjoys singing karaoke in a crowded bar. Games don't appeal to everyone either. Therefore, plan together with the other witnesses with an eye to the personality and interests of the couple. If you're not sure, it's better to ask in time. Often the question can be wrapped into a hint or a conversation so that the element of surprise is not lost.
What else the best man and maid of honor can take care of
To plan the wedding day, you should secure reliable support in good time. On the big day, you are the contact person for both the couple and the guests and service providers. Coordinate everything with the couple in good time and have a printed schedule ready. The planning of the program after the actual ceremony is often exciting. To prevent lengthy speeches or embarrassing games, it is helpful if you contact the couple's family and friends in good time. Ask for information about what is planned. Everyone will understand that the food shouldn't get cold and will gladly provide you with the necessary details so you can incorporate them into your schedule. At this point, overly long speeches, inappropriate or duplicate games, and possibly embarrassing presentations can easily be adjusted with a reference to the overall picture of the celebration.
When the big day arrives, remember the rings and flowers and have an emergency kit ready for the bride and groom. During the ceremony, you sit directly next to or near the couple. The best man will hand the rings to the groom during the ceremony. The maid of honor will hold the bride's flowers during this special moment. After the ceremony, you are the ones who keep the celebration schedule in mind and create an unforgettable day. If you keep the couple's wishes and personalities in mind throughout the entire preparation time, you will complete all the duties of best man and maid of honor with ease and joy.
