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Which hand the engagement ring is worn on is neither definitively fixed nor the same in every country. In Turkey, where engagement with a subsequent celebration has a long tradition and holds great significance for the couple and their families, it is worn on the left ring finger, just as in Germany. We show you what an engagement in Turkey means, what role the ring plays, and how it is worn. Further reading tips: Marriage proposal in Turkey and Wedding in Turkey.
An event of great significance
While in Germany engagement is rather something that takes place romantically between two people – exceptions confirm the rule – and is rarely celebrated in a big way with family and friends, things are quite different in Turkey. In the country on the Bosporus, the marriage proposal has a long tradition and is associated with several celebrations and rituals. Of course, nowadays in Turkey too, there is nothing against a modern marriage promise that the engaged couple celebrates for themselves alone – but if the marriage proposal is accepted, the traditional celebrations begin, which are simply part of it. Often this also includes a sparkling proposal ring, though very devout couples still refrain from this piece of jewelry. Of course, there are always exceptions and couples who implement a traditional view or those who hold a different view.
Kız Isteme – not without the parents
Just asking your partner if she wants to marry you and putting the engagement ring on her finger? That's not enough in Turkey. Rather, a truly "complete" marriage proposal also includes speaking with the bride's parents, where the prospective groom, together with his parents – who are already informed about the planned wedding – asks for their daughter's hand. If this is handled very traditionally, even the groom's father takes on this task.
Söz Kesme – the small engagement celebration
If both families agree that the marriage should take place, the engagement rings are exchanged. However, only for couples who do not strictly follow the Islamic faith: in that case, the bride is not really the groom's wife until the marriage is solemnized, but rather a kind of stranger who does not wear a ring. Alternatively, and as is usually customary with us, only the lady wears a proposal ring, for example a beautiful solitaire ring. After the ring exchange, you can happily begin celebrating to acknowledge the engagement as sealed. Additional family members are often invited to the visit with the parents and the subsequent small engagement celebration, and you celebrate together with grandparents, uncles and aunts when the engagement ring in Turkey is placed on the lady's hand (or both partners' hands).
Nişan – the grand engagement celebration
Now it's time to go big: up to 200 guests are not uncommon at a Turkish engagement celebration. Here too, people like to stick to time-honored traditions. What color is the future bride's dress? Who pays for the dress? Who covers the costs of the engagement celebration? During this celebration, the proposal rings are exchanged once more in the presence of all guests. A special feature is that – if both spouses wear a proposal ring – the rings that will later be used as wedding rings are often chosen for this purpose. This is the reason why when buying engagement rings, people often dig a little deeper into their pockets. After all, there are no additional costs for wedding rings. Once the "official" part of the event is over, the celebration begins – often lavishly and late into the night.
The engagement ring in Turkey and its meaning
In contrast to Germany, the USA, and many other Western-oriented countries, the engagement ring in Turkey has a completely different meaning. While for us it is an expression of love and connection to each other without any religious significance, in the Muslim country it has a strong connection to religion. Depending on how devout a couple is and how the Quran is interpreted by the responsible imam, a couple not only refrains from wearing a ring for the marriage proposal, but even from wearing wedding rings. This religiously motivated tradition has its origin in the assumption of imitating members of non-Muslim faiths by visibly wearing a ring for all to see. If, for example, a proposal ring is regarded as a gift from the man, the woman can wear it without hesitation and display it proudly.
The left hand
To the question "Which hand do you wear the engagement ring on?" there is a very simple answer: if a Turkish couple decides on a proposal ring, it is worn on the left ring finger, just as in Germany. After the wedding, it can be placed on the right ring finger as a stacking ring with the wedding ring.
No gold for devout men
When an engagement in Turkey takes place and the engagement rings also serve as wedding rings, the choice often falls on jewelry that is not made of gold. Muslim men are forbidden to wear gold jewelry, as the precious metal is equated with excessive luxury that should be avoided for religious reasons. As a result, most couples, at least if they are devout, choose rings made of silver or platinum. Whether the latter is not even greater luxury is perhaps another matter. If only the lady wears a corresponding ring, it can certainly be made of gold in the alloy of her choice – women are without exception allowed to wear gold jewelry and they gladly and frequently make use of this.
Beautiful tradition
The proposal ring in Turkey is often purchased by the groom's family – in which case no secret marriage promise between two is possible and the interpretation of religion must allow the wearing of rings. If you then decide that both partners wear rings, these are connected with a beautiful red ribbon, which is then cut during the engagement celebration. This happens after the ring exchange, when both partners already have the jewelry on their fingers. In this way, the proposal rings take on a beautiful meaning: the intimate bond between woman and man, sealed in thought by the parents and the other relatives and friends invited to the celebration.
Engagement rings in all shapes
A conclusion – the engagement ring in Turkey
Even if not every couple or at least every bride-to-be wears it, the proposal ring still has tradition in Turkey. While strictly devout Muslims often reject it, it is part of many other couples' celebrations and plays a major role in the various engagement festivities. Often the wedding rings are also used as engagement rings from the start and are therefore worth a larger investment. While devout men are generally not allowed to wear gold jewelry, women can adorn themselves with gold as they please. If a couple decides on a ring for the marriage proposal, it is worn on the left hand, as is customary in Germany, and can be worn on the right hand after the marriage as a stacking ring together with the wedding ring. Or it can continue to adorn the left ring finger – if that suits the newly married wife better.
